Trust and Integrity are an ALL or NOTHING Proposition

I am so proud of my oldest son, Brandon.  He just graduated from Colorado State University’s School of Business with a degree in accounting.  As I beamed with pride as he walked across the stage and accepted his well-deserved and hard-earned diploma, I was pondering the words that the Dean of the School of Business uttered in the commencement speech just moments earlier.  

“Trust and integrity are an ALL or NOTHING proposition.” Dean Ajay Menon

Dean Ajay Menon said, “trust and integrity are an ALL or NOTHING proposition.”  The truth to this statement is so utterly profound.  Either you trust someone or you don’t.  Either you have integrity or you don’t.  Having a spouse or significant other that you trust wholeheartedly is a safe and peaceful place.  What if you “trusted” your significant other not to cheat 80% of the time?  In essence, they are untrustworthy.  Keeping that sacred bond is either 100% or 0%.  What if you only trusted your financial advisor and accountant who keep your books 90% of the time?  It simply isn’t good enough.  Companies’ value statements and the way in which they conduct business either displays integrity or it does not.  I know I wouldn’t want to invest my blood, sweat, and tears into a company that lacked integrity in the manner in which they conducted business.

Throughout our lives, we have all been through levels of broken trust and betrayals. It cuts to the core of the relationship. It takes away the safe feeling of being with or around that person. But we too, have been the ones who have broken trust and let people down – whether we meant to or not. I was listening to Anthony William speak and he said something that stuck with me on the concept of trust and it has to do with sunsets. It is easy to lose trust, especially after a lifetime of people or situations letting us down. Our psyche can be battered and bruised from these failures. 

Anthony suggested that the very simplest way to establish trust at a soul level is to watch a sunset. Sunsets are so breathtakingly beautiful as the rose colored ball of light makes its way below the horizon. I love to watch the sunsets in Colorado as the sun makes its way behind the mountains. The bright oranges and brilliant hues of blue are awe-inspiring in the evening sky. As the evening darkness takes over, the soul 100% trusts with certainty that the sun will be here again in the morning. There hasn’t been a day when the sun hasn’t made its presence known at dawn. No matter who or what has let you down in your life, the sun rising and setting is a certainty. The next time you watch a sunset, not only observe the beauty before you but take a moment to trust in the universe because you know the sun will be back again tomorrow.

Remember always that you are worthy, you are lovable, and you deserve goodness in your life!

You Are Seven Foot Tall and Green

If I were to say to you right here, right now, that “you are seven foot tall and green,” you would assess what I said against your own “is it true (???) inner filter”, determine very quickly that you are not seven foot tall nor are you green, and the comment would roll off you like water off a duck’s back.  However, if I instead said “you are stupid and you are ugly” you might hear what I said and think something like “I am stupid when it comes to math. I barely squeaked by in algebra.” Or, “I have made some really stupid choices in my life.”  Or you may say to yourself “You know, it was harder for me to get a date than my friends to the prom. I think it is because the other girls were prettier than me.” Or “the ten pounds I just put on does make my clothes fit a little tighter.”

When I made these very insensitive statements to you, you may very well be a genius and a beauty queen. But depending on who I am to you – your friend, your sister, your mother, or a total stranger, you are more or less willing to accept what I said as the truth. However, the ultimate gauge you use as the filter as to whether or not you believe the statement lies with your own self-esteem, your own self-assessment, and your own self-talk. The next time someone makes an insensitive comment to you, don’t let it through your filter. Don’t start down the path of your own negative self-talk. Instead, just replace their comment with “oh, they just told me I was seven foot tall and green.”

Remember always that you are worthy, you are lovable, and you deserve goodness in your life!